Today I have been thinking about my imminent return to work. After almost five years looking after my two children I am planning to start on the creative process once again. I am still at the planning stage rather than the doing stage because first of all I need to build a new studio: the current one is very old, small, and damp having started life as a single garage back in the 1930s.
I have spent most of the summer with both children at home juggling emails, phone calls, and meetings with builders and architects. Finally we have agreed a price with the firm of builders we like and in a couple of months time, probably in November, I will have a much bigger space to work in complete with toilet and shower!
My biggest fear is not having the time to be able to spend doing anything constructive in it.
I recently watched a documentary about Tracy Emin and got an insight into her typical working day. She isn't married and nor does she have children (having famously aborted one baby that we know about) so she has no distractions or responsibilities taking her away from what she wants to do. Yet, she did complain about how the business side of showing the work takes her away from the making of it, which is something all artists have to reconcile if they want to be successful.
A single woman can still be 100% dedicated and focussed on being an artist and has the opportunity to fulfil her potential as an artist, which begs the question can a wife and mother also accomplish this in between school runs, housework, and childcare?
Today it has taken me four hours to get around to sitting down to write this piece. I had the idea as I emptied the dishwasher this morning and I have been prevented from being able to think about it by my household jobs and the demands of my children. I am now mentally exhausted from having to deal with bad behaviour (the eldest) and tantrums (the youngest) and frustrated because every meal we sit down to as a family is like a chimps tea party. It has been a very stressful day so far and I now feel resentful that the time has passed without my being able to articulate my thoughts about women and art.
Only three days until my youngest starts nursery and my eldest starts reception.